Sinner
by Yukinachan72
Summary: Dave belongs with a group of bullies and watches as his friend's torture John a dorky kid with no friends. John and Dave are both suffering from depression and loneliness, Dave abandons the group of bullies and become close friends with John When Dave admit's that he is in love years later John happily accepts, but he has no idea he became a homosexual. What even is homosexuality?
1. Chapter 1

He was at disgust of himself. He gawked down at the blood surrounding the bottom of his arm just below his palm. Finger's squeezed the wrist as he choked out words to himself. Maybe he would never hear them in his own ears, but he will hear them to one he had wish upon something heavenly to be different than who he was now.

Why were you born this way? Oh, you are just a little deformed child, son. It is okay…because I can set you on the right track. You will be just fine.

But, it is all a lie! You will not be fine! It is not at all your fault! You did not do this on purpose. You can not help or prevent it at all from becoming worse and worse. Nothing can change. No one can change you, not even yourself.

You wish you weren't, but you are. You are in love with the one and only Dave Strider. A man. You father does not approve.

_

You sit in the front of you dad's old, gray jeep and you cannot help for a grimace to be revealed on your cracked lips today. A School day and the best part of it is…that is Monday.

You hate Monday's and you wish that they never existed _ever_. You just want to bawl your eyes out and shove a knife all over your wiped out skin. But…no, you cannot do that. You will try harder and harder to get rid of your scars and stop this addiction.

It is too difficult.

Though, you will try,  
and try,  
and try  
and try.

It will never work and you are a little more tired than you should be, too tired to apologize to yourself. Like hell you would deserve it.

You rub the crust out of your eyes and suppress a strong yawn…one you had been holding in just because of your dad. Why does he have to question every little thing you do? Every little thing you say?

_Oh, son. Did you get rest last night…you seem a little like a zombie. I kept hearing noises in your room, but I tried to stay out of your business. I know how you can get angry with me over that…Sorry, son…It is just that I worry about you…I don't want to lose you. I care so much about you and I just want you to be safe…_

You love your Dad for this and you cannot help but to uplift the corner of your lip in a hidden smile because you do have the best dad ever and it is everything you need. He cares about you and tries so hard to guide you to that perfect path he always rambles about.

But…That is the problem, he tries too hard. You love him and everything…You just wish he would not be as protective as he is now.

He never use to be like this. He would barely ever talk to you, too busy with work.

It was always great when he baked you a cake, even though you hate Betty Crocker, you would love to spend time with your dad.

Once you got into middle school. He noticed lower grades in report cards you so desperately tried to hide, he notices scratches, sores, and bruises from people beating on you at school, he noticed how you kindly said 'no' to the cake and preferred to eat dinner by YOURSELF upstairs, and how you would always have a lower mood than usual.

You thought at first this was good. Your dad finally noticed and he had little chats with you everyday after school about how everything was doing. It was forced almost, you were always so sore from school that all you wanted to do was sleep or pester your chums, and you figured it was not going to be too long till you move off on your own and go to college and start at career, get married and have kids. You had a whole life ahead of you. You were not going to be by yourself anymore.

You told dad about everything good every week and you would never mutter a word about being severely depressed where self harm was involved, you never told him about the bullies, you never told him about how you do not have any friends…only ones you met from online. It was sad, but at that moment, all those months it was not, because you only talked about how you have been getting straight A's, how you teacher congratulated you, how you got second place in the spelling bee, how you met a new friend going by the strange name of Nepeta-she always meowed for some reason- but any way…because you tried so hard to focus on the good…the negativity ejected out of you brain. Or so you thought.

It started getting worse in High School. You were failing again and again because you did not go to class. Some boys kept dragging you out of the school. They beat you and beat you. Till blood was soaked down to your toes. But, Why? Why would they do this to you?

Well, it all started when they said, ' hey'. They winked afterwards shoving you ALL around. You were so naïve –or stupid as you would call it- that you smiled and wave back with two enormous buck teeth spilling out of your puffed lip. You thought they wanted to be friends and of course you hung out with them, never understanding their tiny hints that they were giving you with the looks to all their friends ( or followers)

This all lasted until one day, one day you invited Dave Strider over. You thought, maybe you could study for that new biology test coming up for next week. Dave was always so terrible at Biology and you thought maybe you could help.

He said, 'yes I would love that very much, dude heh.' Their was a bit of a waver in his husky voice that you could not quite catch. It was okay though, because you were so happy you got a friend. A friend willing to spend time with you.

You felt so giddy about all this, that you even got popcorn as a snack to eat while studying. It was really the most terrific day ever, that you could barely explain in words.

Your heart skipped when he had finally arrive.

While you- the dork was babbling on and on about this and that with biology.. He was not….really focused I guess you could say. Well, Dave was NEVER really focused about anything related to school…but it was different this time because Dave…he belonged with all those bullies in a big group, but it was so different because he seemed so…. _Frightened_? A coolkid is never scared. He never show's off his emotion. So why was his lip quivering and shades glued to you? Not even paying attention to the text book…?

That was when it happened. You could say that it was the most foreign feeling you felt in your life, though you would be lying because…it seemed as though Déjà vu started pumping no oxygen to you brain.

Your head spun around the world, east to west and south to north. You choked on a big apple in your throat and was not so willing to get rid of it. _Especially_

not verbally.

Cheek was blistered with a hot smothering blush across your nose and cheek bones as your bright blue eyes stood stammering over the man in front of you. Dave Strider. One who had just rubbed his wet lips all over _yours_.

So that is what he was stressing over.

Now, do not get yourself wrong, because you like Dave. He is your best friend. Your best bro. Even you was about fed up with all the shoving and bruising of his group that you had began to walk away and lead a life of your own. You did not think that that was right for you. You all stopped being friends.

Dave noticed this and no he was one to never talk. You had never heard one word spoken from those lips back then. He was hanging out with _them_ and your were sick of it. But, when you no longer saw blonde in the mixtures of browns and blacks of locks laughing over you. Your heart rose up and you somewhat felt happy that…maybe they will, will get older and learn their lesson. After all, one has already left the team. The one that went by the name, "Dave Strider".

You both became good friends. When you did hear his voice though, you had to hold a small blush. Come on! It had too be embarrassing for him as well! He had that…that voice, where he hit a jam in his puberty. It was a little deep for him.

But…you liked it. To be honest you like everything about him. The way he pieces and sticks all his emotions together never letting them spill-sometimes you wonder if he does have any-, the way he smirks instead of a smile (because coolkids do not smile, yo), the way he bragged about how he was the most ironic king of them all, and how he would only talk to you.

He would always have time, and since he left that group…he seemed more happy and talkative. Though, it was only with _you_. Sometimes, it worried you because –you hate to say this- but he can get quite annoying sometimes….pestering you with all his new raps all the time and how he just hates how Cal follows him _everywhere,._

  
He would only be himself around you…sometimes he would even chuckle at your jokes and that made you feel strangely warm. It worried you though, that maybe you were the only friend he had. He would freak if you never answered him either on pesterchum, text, or phone.

And…yes…it was the other way around as well because Dave is all you have. You feel guilty being annoyed by him, but it is friendly…you mean no harm, you just need to go to sleep at nights and there are some days you are busy and you cannot hang on with him.

You know all about his brother, Dirk and you know that that is the only guardian he has. And with Dirk, you barely even spoke to him. They all seemed mysterious and laid back, but once you meet a Strider…you will never regret your choice. They are the coolest, chilliest peeps after all, Ain't I right?

You know everything about Dave, He has told you all the smuppet stories, all the Cal stories, more about his brother that you rather not know, and _everythin_g in school. The whole story about the bullies and how he felt terrible about joining in.

You told him everything as well. All how you want to spend more time with your dad, how you miss him dearly, why you cut yourself, and all about your depression.

He has gone through all the same things as you…That is why he joined the group.

He had no friends and you did not either but now you both have each other.

He has even made all of the people that beat on you in the field behind the school sorry, sorry that they had done what they did and they promised to stop. You do not mess with a Strider and you most certainly do not mess with his best bro.

But, now you have a bigger problem than getting beat on.

It is that you are a homosexual and your Father does not approve.

You realized this after your very first kiss when you were 15 ( You are 16 now).  
It was from a male. Not just any male. It was Dave Strider. The most closest friend you have . The one that knew more about you than your dad did and that is what made it feel perfectly serene with you. Nothing felt wrong.

It was the best feeling ever. You were never kissed before and you pretty sure that Dave had some practice, though you are not sure how, since he had told you that you were the only one he had ever did kiss.

But, it was the most inspirited, dizzy, exhilarated joy ever. You were not sure what to say after you both had made contact with lips. Just the thought reddened your face to the core. All you did was gladly accepted his offer. You did _love_ Dave Strider.

_

But, one night had turned to the worst night of your life that it trimmed you to your own death. The night after a date with Dave. You had told your Dad all about it.  
You were all so happy about it, you just could not stop smiling and giggling. Still blushing, even when you returned home. Though, it all was changed when you told Dad all about the date.

You told him how Dave was so sweet that at the festival he won you this little stuffed bear with a little tiny bow tie and pink cotton candy he shared with you. You told him all, and I mean every little detail about Dave and the date you went on. You told him that you have been dating him for a while now and it has been the happiest year of your life.

You told him how cute Dave was, how every time he looked at you your heart did huge painful zips to your stomach where irritating soft butterflies swarmed, how everything he said made you giggle, and how you could tell how Dave was nervous just as you were because you could see and feel him sweating on his palms where her held your hand _gently_. You know that no one has ever treat you like you were this some fragile piece of expensive glass. Dave was so kind and gentle and that is what you love about him.

You kept giggling and grinning like the stupid derp you are with that STUPID blush.

Dad listened intently to every word you said, though you were so caught up in everything that you never noticed his changed in expression.

When you finally had stop babbling your loud mouth, you peeked at your Father, your positive mood draining slower, and slower till it about hit rock bottom.

His face was in a state of consternation. His eyebrows were twitched inwardly, his veins poking through his fore head and neck, and his eyes wider than a basket ball with tears flowing through and out nonstop.

It scared the daylights out of you and that is definitely for sure. You swear your confused small mind was way more than just a thousand mumbles put together and that you might be having a panic attack right about now.

You are so confused at this moment that your heart is racing to the stars and next stop to your grave, because your anxiety is so bad right now that you vision is blurred out from a tale of a breathing shortage.

The worst part of it all is that your dad looks ANGRY with you and you have no idea why. You were telling him how close you and Dave are…What is wrong with that? Why is he mad?

That was when he took the deepest and longest breather ever and your dad leant down to your height and forced an pleasing smile at you. Dang, so that is where you get the talent putting on such a awesome fake smile on. Even you almost fell for it.

But, you know your dad and you can tell he is not pleased. But what is he not pleased with? You thought people were suppose to go on dates when they grow older. Dave said that anyway…

"Son, Is this 'friend' of yours a…..man…..?"

"Y-Yes…His name is Dave…It is short for David, but he get's upset when I call him that! " you giggled and blushed just a bit, before you dad's gulp echoed through your ears. You snapped your eyes back up at him and awaited for his next question.

" You are dating him?"  
"Yes.." You were getting more and more suspicious of where this was all going to….

"Son, Do you even know what dating is?"

"It is where you love a person so much that you cannot stand to be parted from them for so long…that you go on dates and spend time with each other"

"You love Dave?"

"I love Dave so much, Dad! He has been through everything I have and he knows me so well. He helped me get…away from these, uhm, people that were bothering me at school and…he cares a-about me…a-l-l-ot.."

You stuttered on your words as your stomach growled for energy and you legs and shoulder's slumped together. Why was you dad so surprised? He knew you had to start dating one day…You are a full-blown teen now! You had to start somewhere!  
You had to grow up sometime! It was now or never….

Though, it was that night when your whole world went straight to the lowest depth of hell. The night your dad gave you a _long_ talk. A talk about…something so sinful. Something against God. And, it was the love of two boys. It was against his family's religion.

You never knew. You thought everyone just was suppose to date each other, no matter the gender. No one had ever told him that it was wrong if you were the same sex as the other you fall in love with.

But now you know and it you had the most guilt you had ever had in your pathetic life. You were remorse to your edge and now you know you went against God.  
You felt the need to die. Be cut and half with your soul to never make it. You felt you had no heart left…it might of sunk to hell too burn to many cold heart grounds. You have no heart, you have no brain, and you have no soul.

Your dad was worried about the panic attack you had had the time of that night that the next morning he told you that everything is okay… you did nothing wrong. You are still loved. You have the biggest heart, you are the kindest boy, and you deserve to have the luckiest life of them all!

Your dad said, Dave, that you need to slow him down and take it to a stop. Stop the relationship., Because Dave was not raised right.

But..This did not feel right. To end your whole relationship that you worked so heard to build. You would have no one. No one left. You doubt he would even want to still be friends. He would hate you. Though, you love him and now that you know it is wrong…you have to force yourself. You just cannot bring yourself to do so.

_

**Hi, hi~ This is yukina…and I am oh so sorry…that this may seemed a little rushed at the end. I really hope it was maybe a joy to read^^. Sorry, that it was all so short as well and not really descriptive as it needs to be on some spots, but just ignore my mistakes and follow the story ! I will make another chapter, do no worry and it had happy endings! ( ^ 0^) So be happy…JohnDave be alright~~ You have to review though, so I can make new chapters! Tell me what you want in the second chapter.  
Thank you, I love you all so much, except for the mean ones~ Thank you –blows kisseys- **

**~Yukina**~


	2. Chapter 2

It was new and it was a quiet. A new day, just for you. Just for you….

You kept trying and trying to avoid Dave all day, but each time you laid eyes on him, you flipped. All strange emotions rattled throughout your body and yes, they were new.

Tears threatened for you to give in and let it go, but you twitched so much that you decided it was not the best time. Yet. You were not ready to talk to Dave yet.

Your phone has been on silent and it was getting more and more difficult to answer the texts and pesters. Especially from Dave.

Everything dissected your squished heart to liquid with a enlarging lump in your throat. You are ready. You are going to do it. You are going to end your relationship with the only friend you have. And, everything will be alright, everything will be the same, or so your dad says.

You know you are just lying to yourself when you say everything will be okay, because NO, you need Dave. But, you Father, your father…you really do not want him to be disappointed in having a son like this! A son that is in love with another man is unacceptable and you are pretty sure your dad would put you up for adoption or kick you out on your own if you DID ignore him.

Though…you can not bring yourself to do it. All the bullies will come back, you will be by _yourself_, and you will not have Dave…Dave…Dave… His name just keeps repeating over and over in your head and you know you are getting one of the worst migraines ever, so you aggressively breathe and plop your head down for a big rest. You need a nap, you had a long day at school.

_

_You are yelling, screaming and kicking your legs, anything to get them off. But you fail you mount yourself on the wall of failure with all the others as your brain starts giving out when the knife finally reaches your throat._

_"It is the end. The end, the end. " You barf onto your self with barely any welted tears to survive such a horror cut on your skin. You try to breathe but you cannot. You cannot breathe anymore. There is not air. There is no oxygen._

_Now that you think about it. You remember there never even being in oxygen. You never remember breathing. But…this is such an awful pain that your eyes swirl shabby twirls inclined with a palpated needle. You want to feel sensation of air in your throat, but you cannot_.

_What even is air?_

_BE DIRK_  
Dave is on his way. His way to John house. You are driving him, having a ton of chats with your bro. It is not very unusual for you guys to talk so openly, in fact, it is part of the Strider's genes.

You, the blonde with spiked up hair smirks a grunt. You is a little surprised to see your brother …..uh…..giggling.

Something is wrong with him. Something terrible has attached itself to your bro's brain and…you are not really sure if it is contagious or not. Surely it is not healthy…

You snap a peek from the youngster and raise a fine slick blonde brow. "Uh…dude. You okay over there?"

He scrunches up his joyful mood for a second and realizes, yes…he may have been getting out of character here. A little too emotional for an Egbert. Damn that dang derp. Should he really be making Dave emotional around his bro? No irony here.

He must be a little too embarrassed because you see a red rosy blush across his face. That's right, not just his cheeks, the whole face, folks! _wink wink_.~

You laugh in deeply. Your bro can be so cute sometimes. You really hope this Egbert kid is not some dumbass, disrespectful, piece of crap that tries to take advantage of the lil'dude. You would be woopin' his ass sometime soon, if this was the case.

But…He is not like this, right? Because Dave would not have a care for him if he was…. _Hopefully_…

_

You might or might not be as nervous as Dave right now. Well, you mean, lil'dude and lil'dude already met each other and seen each other for a while, not like you met this dork.

Well, you finally have time to see what Dave was always so shy to talk about…Let's see.. who is trying to seduce your little brother. Hopefully he is not some kind of old pervert or whatever.

You walk in following, your little Dave that you worked so hard to raise. You are kind of proud of yourself to see how great he has turned out. I mean, it is just you feeding him, putting a roof above his head, helping him through some pretty hard situations and now, here he is…going to his first boyfriend's house.

You can remember when he first told you that he liked boys. He would always be so embarrassed when you brought a topic up like that. And, he probably saw you and Jake kissing a few times and maybe thought a little more into it. Girls are not always the love you are looking for. You once tried to tell him this, he got angry…He told you to shut up…he likes girls and he is not some, 'gay faggot.' Now, this made you extremely upset. You had to set his mind in the right place. You finally got him to stop hanging out with those, 'friends' or whatever the fuck they are.

You had many talks with him and had many stressed out fights with him, but what can you say? He is a teenager and that is what they do. They go through so many,' curiosity' stages and can not help but to help him with that. You want to help him get through everything. That is what you are there for. You are proud of him no matter decisions. You just want to put him through the right path to a very bright future.

So, you really hope this kid he is all, 'strider giggly' about all this is not some stuck up dude or some shit. You are very worried about Dave. All Dave does is talk about John, a little more than he should? No.. It is all he is concerned about. You really hope John is worth it just a tiny bit.

_

The white door was swung open, so viciously that you gaped. What appeared was a little, very _little_ dude with black ruffled hair, blue eyes, and glasses. He looked like a stereotyped geek to you. So, Dave likes nerdy boys, huh? Wow… you are learning more and more.

He was shocked with a giant load of distress in the corner of his eyes, he blinked as if he was seeing if this was really happening. Well, it is your prince to come get you, the damsel in distress.  
_BE DAVE_:

You are now Dave, and you are smirking like the badass you are. Except, though you feel kind of a bit like a teen girl because your heart is having way too many backflips, all you guys did was make eye contact and you are acting as if you had just done _it_.

"Surprise! I wanted you to meet my bro, Dirk."

The derp rose his black brow. " But.. I already met him."

"What? No …you have not."

"Yes! He probably remembers me too! God, Dave…you really have no memory after all…do you?"  
_BE A DIRK_

You gagged a tight laugh in. Oh hoho. This little innocent one. He was at his house every weekend…How could Dave forget?! He would never forget something like that. You are not sure if you happy, or suspicious. Probably both. You are happy it is him, he seems like a gentle, sweet kid. In fact, you know that is true…but, it is not like you made a conversation with him on the weekends. You were mostly out with Jake then. You had work on the week…maybe that is why Dave cannot remember? Or has Dave been doing drugs? Thh…

You crease your lips and nod saying, "Hey. What's up?"

The boy smiles and shakes your hand. Surprisingly, he has a _very_ tough grip. You like that~ You think Dave made a perfect choice. You let out your have been stressing on for so long.

"Hey Dirk! I am Dave's friend! Hehe. I think you know, already though!" Okay, you have learnt how to see your brother's subtly reactions to things and this is a time. Dave is over there, he keeps glancing around…on the ground anywhere but you too. You can tell he is blushing.

You can see why because this boy has the cutest giggle you had every heard in your life. Oh…dear…

"So, you sure you are a boy?" You ask him with quite some _sneer_ there and he scratches the back of his head in full blown humiliation. Aha…How cute. He is blushing like Dave…

"Haha! Yes, I..I am!" He forces your joke to a pity in his stomach. He tries to laugh and you know it is not really funny for him. If only he knew…you really are curious. How could someone that cute be a guy. Come on now.. Get serious.

You see your little brother searching back and forth, looking for something and he finally asks, "Hey, your dad's not home right? You, uh, told me he was leaving. When is he getting' back?"

The black-haired boy just blinked, processing his boyfriend's words. Haha…you like that name…'boyfriend. '

"Oh…Yeah! He is not h-here…he left for w…worl..work.." Why is the dude all stutter on his words now?

You were kind of lost in just thinking about random shit until you hear that little guy talk…What is his name again..? "Uhm…So, thanks for dropping Dave off..I will walk him back home tomorrow morning. It means a lot. Thanks."

OH HELL NAH. He thinks he is just going to sit here and cuddle with YOUR little brother without supervision? Well, guess what? Sure…go ahead.

"Just don't be doing any weird shit, you got that?" You pointed at that little nerdy boy who is grinning for what is the damn reason?! Stick those dumb teeth back in man…you look so…cute.

"Weird things? What do you mean?" Oh, now he is playing all innocent? Naïve? Huh?

" You know what I mean. I am trusting you with him. So better not do any thing stupid or I will beat your ass."

_BE A VERRRRYY SCARED JOHN_:

You are a _very_ scared John and you are just so frightened…you just want this man to leave your house. Your heart is thumping out of your chest and you think you feel all too nervy about staying alone with Dave, at YOUR house. What THE fuck! What the hell are you guys both going to do? You usually go places…never your house! You never had to plan anything…Maybe some video games? But..uh..then what?

Dammit, Dammit. . You are so frustrated to the core of your brain, making your heart rattle out apologies for beating so harsh. It hurts so much…Gosh…This might just turn out to be more awfulness than enjoyment.

You rest your head on the arm of couch next to Dave, not even realizing Dirk has already left until you feel a palm laid onto your shoulder, comforting you.

"Hey…What's wrong?" The voice is so soothing and you think…maybe you can last this night with him.

You melt a smile onto him and he does the same as you lean up and rest your irises onto his shades. You sigh again.

"I wish I could see your eyes, y'know? It is not fair, you get to see mine!" You play a stubborn child with your arms crossed and lips sticking out. You really do wonder…Does he really have eyes? Is he an alien? Aha! You would still love him not matter what!

The blonde laughs, restlessly shaking his head with his legs cross, he is reclining now with a smirk. Damn these Striders. " Haha. No man…these are mine…for no one else to see. You would think I look like some kind of monster. You would be scared and flip your shit, running off, telling everyone, ' Hey Dave has red eyes! Something's wrong with him. He is deformed.' And all the police would be searching for me. They would trap me, thinking I am an alien. It would be lonely…I am not sure if I want to be locked up surrounded by little green men and gorillas."

He frowns turning away, not even realizing in one of his little rambling sessions, that he just told you…why he did not want you to see his eyes.

I giggled. " Hehe! Really Dave? Red eyes? Those are not that bad! I bet they look awesome on you! Let me see! Please? Please?!" You clench your hands together and start begging on your knees now, not really sure if you are doing that puppy dog face right or not, but oh well.

"The hell do you think I have red eyes for?!" He yells and it sort of scares you because this seems like some real anger here, but it is just Dave being Dave. He get's over dramatic and starts yelling. It is not something you like about him. Maybe something you rather not see that all the time.

" You just told me! You kept talking and talking and it just flew out! Don't be mad at me! You said it!"

"Well shit" He sighs and leans back against the couch. " Guess I should careful about doing crap like that. It's not helping…"

You raise a brow with confusion attached. " Not helping what?"

"Nothing" He answers as we drift off into a long silence. Awkward at its best.

Maybe he fell asleep? You cannot really tell' cause of those damn glasses as you spread a sly smirk over your lips, rubbing your hand together like an evil minion. Well, you are…because you have the perfect idea, EVER!

You lean down, close to Dave's ear and whisper, " You wanna make out?"

_BE A WORRIED DAVE_

You jump, jerking your head towards him , almost gasping for air. Not quite. You cannot show any emotions now, Strider. You cannot do any of these dumb girly things like…this stupid blush.. Why is it so hot in here? Not like it is Texas or anything.

John is just grinning at you, laughing his ass off. The fuck?! What's so funny?! Then, that is when you make the connection. Your eyes drift down to his hands as your stomach sinks to the bottom. Oh GOD NO. This cannot be happening.

"FUCK YOU JOHN!" You scream and grasp for you shades that are lying, tucked into his hand. He is giggling as your face gets to be the brightest of reds. This has gone way to far…

"Hehehehehe! But your eyes! They match you so well! You are so cute with them! Awww!"

"Shut up and give me them back!" You snap out your hand. You are wrestling with him, . His faced is flushed in complete derpy laughter. He seems to be all choked up in his little laughing fit and not even realizing, that oh God…you are on top of him. Somehow. Some point when this was happening, you wrestled him to the floor and you are on top OF HIM.

His laughing starts settling down and he looks up at you, tilting his head. Stupid Egbert…being all cute… it is all his fault. It looks like it is all your fault. You look like the PERVERT. Trying to get it on with him…but he did it! His stupid sneaky way of his. Fuck you life.

You just cannot take much more of this.

You latch your pathetic thoughts that tell you that what you are about to do is a VERY bad decision. But..you cannot help it because. John's face is so red and he..is so happy. You just cannot stand to stay away. You have to.

You have to.

You are going to do it.

You are going to..

You are doing it.

You are kissing him.

You are kissing him and he is just smiling onto your lips, kissing back. He is kissing back! He slightly moves his lips back and forth over yours and you are not sure if you like the drilling lightning in your stomach on not. It is driving you absolutely nuts.

But, it feels right.

You smile as you place your pale palms over his faintly tan skin. He can get a tan but not you? Damn Egbert. You grimace but just for a second, because the most wettest weird ass thing is pushing against your lips now, trying desperately to get inside. The hell is this?

It pushes into the entrance of your mouth and you believe oh my….no,,,It cannot be…  
John was serious about this? You pull in your red cheeks and do the same as him. It is so nerve-wracking for you, you cannot breathe all too well, but it is all fine with you because you, sir, are making out with John Egbert. The cutest derp _ever_. This is perfectly fine with you.

Though not everything in the world is all in fantasy princess land because is it just you or did you hear a gasp? Please tell yourself that that was just the little dork. please. Oh please. Oh please. Oh please!

Oh, well fuck you Dave. IT is not John…It is John's Dad? JOHN'S DAD? When the hell did he even get in here? Can he not..tell this is kind of privacy they need.

Oh..Well.. I guess you are in the old man's living room, huh? Well, shit.

Now, that you had stopped slurping your bro up, John looks up at you with questions of all sorts written across his eyes. " What? Why did you stop-"

" JONATHAN EGEBERT. GO UP TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW."

You awkwardly snap your eyes back to John and he is crying. _Crying_. What the heck? He is in trouble? What for? Dirk told you this was all normal! Well, uh, maybe his father is a little more strict over this. Dirk is pretty …weird…Oh God…Why did you listen to him? Why? Why?! Why did this have to happen at this time and right here! It is not right! What did you do to deserve this?!

Okay…do not answer that….but really. John is sobbing now and he keeps shrilling out a bunch of mumbles you cannot understand, but your name and. -" I am so sorry! Dave..I am sorry!" He running upstairs, shaking as he trips over his self fifty times.

"And as for you Mister Strider…I'm going to have a LONG chat with your Father."

" I don't have a Father" Good going, Dave… oh smooth. Why the fuck would it matter? Dirk is not going to punish you, he is the one who has been trying to make you make a move on the small boy and of course you would never unless John said it was fine. You could never handle it by yourself!

But, this little asshole in front of you just made John cry and you are beyond angry.

"Well.. that explains why you have not been raised." He breathes in a tight inhale and continues, "I am taking you home, Who watches over you?"

"My bro.."

"Your bro? Well, he is going to like what he hears…"

"Sure he is. Pretty damn proud."

The old man raises a brow and huffs.

"Get in the fucking car." He is pointing as you fight your way out of his smashed grasp on your wrist. The hell you are going with him!

"I am WALKING HOME! YOU FUCKING OLD MAN. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME." His wrinkles saturate together as you say this. He releases you and you skid away to your apartment. Going to tell him all the freakin' crap that happened.

Oh, those two will not get along.


	3. Chapter 3

"Leave me alone!" You, a small, fragile boy sat on the bathroom tiles covered in blood. Tears daring to burn the opened wounds. You are lost. You are afraid. Afraid of the outside world. There was nothing for you to understand. Everyone declared chaos.

Madness drained everyone souls. Preparing to wither away into no where. Madness consumed everyone. Especially your Dad. Your Dad is upset with you. UPSET. And you have no idea how to fix this.

It torn you to the last straw, you could not take it anymore. You did not want to hear what you Father had to say, because there would be no way of him understanding. No way for you to put yourself in your Father's shoes. So why take the time? Why does your dad even care who you like?

Now, you can see why your dad is upset about kissing someone in the LIVING ROOM for goodness sake. But, you promise to never do it again. You promise! As long as you still get to be with Dave. Though, you know that that will surely never happen. You have no hopes. You feel as though there is nothing to your future.

So, why do you keep going forward if there is just misery at the other end?

Why…

You wish you could just end it RIGHT now. Leave this junkyard and have no memory of anything. There are barely any good memories, so why should you be overweighed with despair? Why should YOU go through this.? What is the point for your existence. It was never meant to be.

So, Why don't you just end it now already. You have been trying for years, though you feel this will be the right time…The time you finally succeed.

_

Your dad has barged into your bathroom door, looking pissed more than ever. Sweat dripping from his forehead in deep feverish rage. Boy, are you petrified.

You are trembling with that sweet same old fear. This is too common for you. Your tears are finally spilling out of the seams and you are _sobbing_, because your dad has caught you with a knife in your hand and slits everywhere on your body and wrist.

This is the worst night in your life of sickening nights.

Fuck EVERYTHING. You are going to do it.

You raise the abnormally large steel knife to your throat and choke in a gasp. This is it. You are going to do it. You are done. You are ready to leave. You want to leave. You do not WANT this life. Never… _Never_.

Tears roll down your bruised, purple face. You clench your hold in the knife and…dig in to the meaty flesh of your esophagus.

It is the best feeling you have ever felt. You feel at ease. You are fulfilled with peace. You release and cleanly drift down to reconciliation. You are _finally_ gone…

" _HELP_ _HELP_! PLEASE SOMEONE!"

A boy with black, tasseled hair is ontop of a big stretcher. His throat and arms are bleeding aggressively while his father ,worried to death about him, screaming for nurses in the emergency room of a Hospital.

There are nurses surrounding the small boy, taking him away from his father as he stands there scarred for life of his son's self abuse. A father that had no idea of all the other scars and cuts along with bruises. Is he the one that caused this?

It cannot be…It just cannot…

What did you do wrong?

_

_BE DADDY EGBERT_

You sit in the chair beside the hospital bed, just sobbing. You have no idea what caused this or maybe you do. Maybe you should not have been so harsh on him. You were only trying to protect him from doing wrong. You were just trying to guide him to the right place. You wanted him to have a future….A future with a wife and kids. You were going to be a Granddad.

Now, that will never happen, because you forced him too much. It was too overwhelming. It seems he has been facing other troubles as well that he has never once told you about. But, you have to stop thinking of the , "What if's…" and start thinking about what has happened here and now, because you realized you are the one who caused YOUR OWN dear son to go overboard.

There is nothing you can do about it. It has all been said and done. You have maybe just a tiny bit of hope…that all of this can pass. You know it will never be forgotten though. You wish, oh how you wish you could have been more gentle with your baby. Instead of yelling, because it is one of the toughest phases teenagers go through now a days.

Oh, but it sickens you! How could your son love another man?! That is just wrong. It is so wrong…It has caused nothing but trouble. It has robbed him from his bright future. A future you have longed for. YOU have longed for.

Because all that was good in your life has only been your son. John Egbert.  
You try so hard to raise him, you just want him to have a better life than you have had. But, Everything has gone straight to hell!

What have you done wrong?

Your dark eyes trail over your son's bandages around his neck, you try so hard to hold in your tears…but you are way too weak for that. This is your son. Your son that has harmed himself.

When you had first saw the blood rushing down all over his skin a half an hour ago, you heart, you sworn, had stopped and dipped down to the lowest part of your chest. Your stomach hurled out nauseating words. NO parent should ever see their own child with this kind of injury.

You wanted to hug him and tell him that everything is okay, but you know that nothing really is okay.

Just as you breathe in, your self phone starts blaring your annoying ring tone. You rush to snap it out of your pocket and check the caller ID. You have no idea who the number belongs to, though you have a tight hook on your heart that you should probably answer.

So you do. You put it up to your ear and a familiar voice echoes into your eardrums. It was a males voice that was for sure. But, why does it sound so familiar?

"Mister ….Egbert…"The voices exasperating sigh deepens your confusion.

"Yes, Who is this?" You inquiry, wrinkling your nose a tiny bit.

" This is Dave Strider, s..sir…Your son's…uh…friend. I just..want..t-to, uhm say sorry about the other night. I was sort of, uh, rude…So..yeah.."The boy trails off. Man was he awkward on the phone, or what?

WAIT!- WAIT….JUST WAIT…THIS IS THE GUY THAT JOHN HAS BEEN …-gulp- _kissing_….?

Oh, Dear Lord…! You inhaled a huge breath as you accepted his apology. You are kind of glad, because you deserve this kind of respect. All adults do. They do not need any teens walking all over them.

"So, You are not mad at me?" Boy..are you loving this…

"No, I forgive you. I just wish kids could be a little more _nice_." You smirk into the phone.

" Oh….So. U-U-Uh..m….About John, I am not allowed to see him, right?"

You paused at this. See…John…OH SHIT.

"He is here with me, at the hospital and I think that he rather not have so many visitors right now." You bluntly explain. You are not really good at this kind of stuff.  
You know. Telling people news. You kind of always just shoved it into peoples faces. What else do you do?

"What?! What happened!?" You hear a squeaked gasp through the cellphone and you really wish you did not feel this much guilt, because you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Right…?

"He…His…Well..h-his…throat got torn up."

"What happened?"

You take a deep breath in, preparing for severe news to be revealed.

"It seems my son has tried to commit suicide."

_

_BE A HEATBROKEN DAVE_

The Hell, man?….John…had done it again? You can see why. A lot of fucked up shit happened, but man…He has you. He could of came to you. You would of comforted him. But, now it is too late.

Thank God, he is still alive. You pray and pray as you head your way to the hospital doors, not even caring if his dad said to not come. You are someone to be there with your bro…through thick and thin and that's that.

His dad's face was priceless when you had barged in through the stupid large doors, Another Strider following behind, your brother. His eyes were as big as flying saucers, but why? All you did was walk in there! Man, you know your sexy, hot and everything, but damn…you would never thought this old man would be drooling over you.

Wait…he was looking at your brother? What?

"D-D-Dirk…It is ….It is …y-you! Oh my Gosh!" THE FUCK? HE KNOWS DIRK. JOHN'S DAD KNOWS DIRK? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!

You are so utterly confused, you cannot begin to explain. Even your mouth drops when your brother nods and the old man goes up and…. _Hugs_ Dirk…

What is happening. You thought this dude was all, "not a homo…Tehe!" But…now he is all up all your brother. You have no idea what is happening right now, so all you do is raise your slick ironic strider brow and tilt your head a tad.

Hopefully an answer will come soon, if you have some kind of lousy response.

Hmm…

Hmmm…

"I never knew…you have a son?"

The elder strider slightly pushed him back, shaking his head.

"Nah man, this is my bro. He said John got hurt or somethin'."

"Yes, John is my dear son." Mister Egbert stepped back a foot, dusting his self off and clearing his voice before he started up again.

"John…John has …uh…have been having issues with your son, Strider."

Dirk quirked his eyebrow, crossing his arms…looking chilled as ever.

"He is my bro."

"O-Oh.. dear brother, has been…Well…this..is just weird..I would have never thought I would see you again, Dirk! I am sorry for what I have done…It was really a terrible mistake…I just wish we could still be…. friends."

The dad stuttered, shaking off nervous. You could tell how much guilt he felt. It about took over him. He was pleading, pleading for friendship..?

The blonde teen held up his palms.

"HOLD UP. How the _HELL_ do you know eachother?" You are so confused that it is starting to take your cool and it ain't even right.

The two both turned towards you and glared, like you just committed a motherfuckin' murder!

"I met this nice young lad back in high school and we had become great friends until we had gotten into a fight and he had never talked to me since." Mister Egbert had stood calmly, trying to feed you questions, but that just made them hungrier.

"What were you fighting over?" You rose your brow over your shades, man you really can get into some personal stuff with people, huh?

"Dave..just don't worry about it. He is just someone I knew and that I rather not know. Not ever." Wow…Bro…that is kind of rude there. Uh…

"We fought about some pretty stupid stuff, I agree. Just, I hope you never make the mistake I did." You felt a hand on top of your shoulder with a daddy Egbert kindly smiling at you.

He was giving you advice.

This is strange…So your Brother knows your best bro's Dad and they got into a fight and now Bro hates Egbert's Dad? Wow….Okay…then..

"Uh…So, When is John going to wake up?" You question, staring over the piece of elegant masterpiece in front of you. Except, something is wrong…He was all bandaged up and this broke your heart more than it ever did when you saw his scars. Because, this was his neck. He was really trying….

Tears start dripping as you grasp onto the railing of John's bed while you feel your bro's cold hand over your back…rubbing, trying to comfort you….though, he fails….

This is John.

John, the John you love.

You love him so much and just the thought of him trying to leave…tears your heart inside out. It so painful to just see the bandages, because you know under those little gauze is a bloody mess. It hurts you so much.. You just really wish you could at least, hug him… or kiss him…but his dad…

You are just standing, staring at the little Egderp, dreaming of having things not so bad, dreaming how everything could have been different. But, it will never be.

You feel Bro's finger tap you and when you turn to him, he is motioning for you to go out in the hall with him. He is wanting to tell you something private.

You are out in the hall with your older brother, awaiting for him to speak. Though, he is not speaking. It is as if he is trying to put his words in the right spot.

" Listen..Lil'man. I promise that he will be alright. He will. You will get to see him soon."

I sigh and nod. It is still depressing, not like he is going to be all giddy and happy when he wakes up. He will probably be all upset…Knowing he is still alive. That is fucking messed up and you bite onto your tongue when you think this. You really want just one more day with John..One more where he is _happy_.

You know that will never happen though, because his dad _hates_ you.

"You know..His, uh..Dad…"

"Yeah?" You look up at him, staring into his anime shades, not really in mood to talk right now. You just want to go bury yourself alive. The only reason your not, is because you want to see the damn kid. You want to see his smile again. You are not sure if you will ever be able to see it again…His giggle, his laugh, his buck teeth, his eyes, his blush, his small body, the way he sometimes snorts when he laughs and get's all embarrassed….

"His Dad use to be gay"

Okay… you were not…uh, expecting this…His Dad, gay? THE HELL?! He is an homophobic asshole, that's what he is! What the hell happened..?!

" I use to date him. The same thing happened to him. His parents got really angry with him and shit…he was a nice boy…but, he turned on me and told me to get out of his life forever and now…he wants me back…but the most fucked up thing about it is…that he is doing the same thing his parents did to him to John, his son."

Well, that was a lot of information to take in. Wow….You could not really believe this….John's dad was gay too? And with your brother! Oh wowww!

_Hello, thank you so much for all the reviews!, It really warms my heart! ( * A __**). Sorry, for the mistakes. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Hehe! :3 Sorry…if you do not like what happened, I promise to have the new chapter up VERY SOON, like tonight soon or maybe tomorrow morning soon. ~ Okay Thank you for reading. I love you 3~**_****

~ YUKINA~*


	4. Chapter 4

You….you…were just devastated. You could not even believe what your was saying to you.

You awoke to a _very_ infuriating ring in your eardrums. It had blasted out your whole brain, forcing you to leave such a beautiful dreaming state. Oh how you wish that you could stay…

You never recognized it as being a grunt you made, but it was in fact a grunt, and a very loud one at that. So loud..it had startled your visitors. Visitors…Wait…

WHAT?

Why is Dave here, and more importantly, why is _Dirk_ here? Had your Dad called? What for? You know he hates Dave and most possibly ( of course) Dirk too!

You could not even consider that this was happening so you rubbed your eyes twice with a few blinks before raising an eyebrow.

"D-Dad…why.._-"

"You're awake! Thank the Heavens!" Your dad had dramatically rose his arms to the ceiling, smiling.

You felt tears rolling down your face ever so forceful. You missed seeing _that_ smile. It was one he rarely ever shown. You missed it so much and you missed your dad. He seemed so glad you awoke.

Though, the bigger question stands more in front now. Why is he not killing Dave? He hates him. My God, he found them making out in the middle of the living room! You would probably be upset a little too. But, he seems that you are the one he is paying attention to and you hoped for it to stay that way. Just for a bit. 'Oh Dear, please...' you began to beg.

"Son..Please…Never worry me so much! It just broke my heart! Please John..I love you and I am so proud of you. Trust me I am no way in hell mad at you! I just…"

Your father was hugging you now. He was _hugging_ you and you were hugging him back. Grasping so hard to his shoulders, sobbing muffled words as your heart pattered against the lines of misunderstanding.

_He loves you so why does he have to yell?  
He loves you so why does he have to say such mean words to your only friend?  
He loves you so why does he have to act like you have committed the worst crime in history?  
Why does he think it is so gross to love another boy? It is not even your fault…_

"Dave came here. He said…sorry." He had moved out of your view, showing Dave and Dirk both with over stirred poker faces.

"Sorry? What …" You could not really voice any of your questions you were dying to ask, so you just sat on your bottom and gawked.

Then Dave walked up to you, you could tell he tried to smile from the corner of his lip pushing up, though he had sadly failed.

"Hey.." For some reason, he just rested his eyes anywhere but you.

"Hey…D-Dave.." That is all you could say before he had _grabbed_ you and smashed your stuttered lips to his.

Eyes were unnaturally oversized, lips quivering, and your hands clammy as they shook in an unsettling situation.

Just when those warming lips had stop making zig-zags in your chest he pulled back, staring at the floorboard.

Damn it Dave…I should be the one embarrassed! Woa…wait..he just kissed you in front of…Oh my- holyshitholyshitholyshit!

Holy SHIT.

You gave him 'I am going to kick you so _hard_ between the legs when I am done here' kind of look before he sighed.

"Listen…Your…Dad…He said- well he changed his, uh, mind I guess…about …"

"Son. I am proud of you no matter what. I just want you and Dave to not be _doing_ that kind of stuff. You are way to young. I..I—have did so…when I was, uh, your..a-age..I am finally beginning to accept myself, because I cannot change who I love."

He spoke in a peaceful voice to the tip of his tongue…he had ignored how badly he worded his words. He rested his smile in determination. He was confident in you…not letting him down.

"What! You-…you-you- you-... You did..—"

"I was also..- …I liked a boy as well. He had treated me so gentle and he was so kind. I had fallen in love with him and there was no way I could ever help it. I am so sorry I acted like this, son. It was not appropriate. I can understand if you are still angry...but…I do love you. "

He exhaled the ending slowly as he looked at you with _very_ pleading eyes.

''Dad! You really…you actually-"

You hand had covered your lip in an awkward gasp.

He nodded in confirmation. He has… He was a homosexual too and he still is…  
This can not be real life. There is no way...but everything seemed so real, especially Dave. His lips and the blushing… Why is your Dad not even reacting to that!? The hell is going on here?!

"You cannot be!" You yelled as You covered him in a deep, loving hug. You started sobbing again. Why are you cursed with being so emotional? Maybe Dave was right…You do act more like a girl? Oh..whatever.

"So I can still be with Dave?!" You shouted in pure eagerness. Oh my gosh! This is the greatest day ever!

"Yes…son you can. Though there are very strict rules."

You frowned at this.

"You are to not be _ever_ and I mean EVER making out! You are only allowed hugging, holding hands, and just a quick kiss. Please do not do it in front of me."

You nodded, grinning your derpiest grins of them all.

Thank you, Dad…

__


End file.
